Editor’s Note: This is the second of our November Thankful Thursday posts. Keep counting those blessings!
Envy. It’s the green-eyed monster that haunts us all.
It’s the hyper-focus on and desire for what someone else has or who they are, to the point that we cannot truly appreciate the blessings that are ours.
Envy creeped up on me at a conference I attended a few weeks ago. As I read the bio of speakers, I realized that included there was a friend who got into speaking and publishing at the same time I did. But instead of my two published books, she now had seven—one of which was a bestseller. She was speaking at a national conference while I was taking notes. For more than a moment, the ministry I led and loved when I walked into the conference suddenly seemed small and insignificant.
I wanted what she was having.
CAUSES
As speaker and author Lysa TerKeurst is fond of saying, “We steer where we stare.” We want what we allow our eyes and thoughts to linger on. This has been happening since Eve looked and listened to the Garden’s slimy snake who shined a soft-focused spotlight on the fruit she wasn’t supposed to eat. Instead of then turning from temptation and high tailing it out of that portion of the Garden, instead of focusing on all the other lovely and tasty items God had so graciously made especially for her (and the husband who was wowed by her very presence), Scripture tells us in Genesis 3 that she listened to the serpent’s tales that she was missing out on something good and she looked again at the fruit she’d seen before. Only this time, she kept looking. She lingered and lusted long enough that her paradise was no longer enough. She wanted that fruit.
What causes your eyes and thoughts to linger longer than they should? Is it something or someone that is not yours to have, but you want it anyway? Photos of smiling friends enjoying vacations you can’t afford or weren’t invited to join? Images of perfectly clad and obedient children? Stories of husbands that do dishes and homes that have been professionally decorated? Fashion influencers with their endless photos of this season’s must have items? Numbing out to Netflix or other places of escape? Maybe it’s a promotion you can’t seem to get, or a bigger platform of notoriety, power and influence.
Where we stare really does influence where we steer. And where our stare steers us isn’t always good.
CONSEQUENCES
Envy makes it impossible to follow Scripture’s command to rejoice with those who rejoice. It’s hard for me to rejoice over someone else’s good fortune when I want what she's having. My own perceived lack can lead to resentment and create distance in our relationship.
An unhealthy focus on what I don’t have or who I’m not also keeps me from seeing and appreciating the value of what is mine. It makes me ungrateful and sets me up for a future of insatiable desire because no earthly person, place, position, or thing can truly, deeply, sustainably satisfy. When focused on my perceived lack, I will always want more. This can lead to financial or other problems.
An incessant focus on what I want robs me of valuable time, attention, and money that I could better invest in what Scripture refers to as heavenly treasures, including caring for and being a blessing to others. Essentially, my warped perspective robs God and others.
CORRECTION
So how do we tame this green-eyed monster that wants to kidnap our contentment and sideline our abilities to bless?
We change where we are staring.
We do not linger and listen to what causes us to question if God is holding out on us. We step away from where the serpent shines his spotlight and stop looking at the Instagram version of everyone else’s lives. We steer our eyes and ears and hearts and minds away from temporary pleasures and what we wish was ours. We continually refocus on and make the most of what God has graciously given us to enjoy and on the purposes for which He has placed us here. And yes, on this Thankful Thursday and everyday that follows, we faithfully look for what we can thank God for that we may cultivate a heart that is ever aware of His presence and care.
“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” - Colossians 3:2
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” -Philippians 4:8
Let’s break free from the clutches of the green-eyed monster of envy. Let’s so relish the blessings we’ve been given that we no longer feed our cravings for the blessings of others.
Let’s stare instead at what steers us to better love and live for the One who custom created us in His image. AhhH yes, let’s linger there.
Meet the Author!
Bible teacher, author, inspirational speaker and disciple-maker, Vickey Banks is passionate about helping women connect the dots between God’s Word and their everyday lives. She loves serving as Women’s Ministry Director at Council Road, celebrating her people, playing with her puppy and getting lost in a good story.