Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays! Or is there?
I love the grandeur of my mom’s fabulous tree and the way she makes the whole house glow. We decorate the weekend after Thanksgiving and going through old ornaments always brings back fond memories. But I know not every holiday conjures images of mirthful families and merry Christmases. For those with no close family (geographically or emotionally), family loss or strained relationships, the holidays can shine a light on hard things we’d rather keep hidden.
However, if we are to keep Christ in the center of our Christmas this year, there is one idea we must keep in mind to navigate tricky family interactions: Imago Dei. This term encapsulates the weighty theological concept of how humans are made in God’s image and, therefore, worthy of dignity and love simply because we are the only creations endowed with God’s image. (Genesis 1:27)
Jesus’ incarnation is the clearest picture we have of God’s love for His image bearers. (John 3:16) As Christians, it is our responsibility to act like Christ and view all humans as worthy of love and dignity. This includes those hard-to-love family members. Yes, the ones who say embarrassing, ill-timed comments at the table. Yes, the ones who hurt you. Yes, the ones that make you cringe when you have to hug them for undefinable reasons. Keeping Christ at the center of Christmas means showing His love for all of humanity.
Often times, we find it most difficult to view others in this way when they have caused us harm. Sometimes the harm they have done is to imprint on us a sense of not having value or worth for the simple fact that we’re human. I’m so sorry that they lied to you about your worth to God. For those of us who know God’s forgiveness, it is our job to extend that same forgiveness that He first gave us to those who have harmed us. Giving forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning someone else’s wrong behavior or encouraging them to perpetuate harm; it does however release you from the bondage of bitterness. CLICK HERE for more on the process of forgiveness.
Loving others because of Imago Dei does not mean that we have to curl up by an open fire roasting chestnuts with those who have abused us, lied, stolen, cheated etc… But I do want you to reconsider your boundaries this holiday season. Have you avoided home/a conversation/a particular person out of a self-protective fear? Ask God if that is truly what He wants for you this year. He is big enough to protect you in the lions’ den if that is where He is leading you. Go forward prayerfully and attuned to Holy Spirit.
This Christmas season let us remember this: God did not reconcile us to himself from a distance. He came into a world infected with sin to save us and make us a new creation in Himself. (2 Cor. 5:16-21) I urge you to take another look at the difficult people in your family through the lens of Imago Dei. Let that ground you in wisdom as you choose in what setting and how much time you will see them for this season. Also let it ground you in your own identity in Christ despite the loss you’ve experienced or the messages you received from these people. You are worthy of love and dignity; don’t let others behavior towards you shake that truth.
Meet the Author!
Phoebe is a therapist in private practice at Bethany Counseling Center, mom to the very lively Vivi and very chill Charlie, and wife to Jeff. You may spot her out and about at almost any Target in the area with a coconut milk latte in hand. She enjoys nonfiction books, Disney movies, and helping others find peace and healing in the hope of the Gospel.
This blog is meant to further the conversation about mental health and is not intended as medical or professional advice.
