As many of you readers know, I am currently living overseas. I’m still a member of Council Road and consider myself deeply connected to her. This has many advantages as well as disadvantages. Being so far away has given me a privilege I did not expect—the privilege of hearing what people really think about Council Road.
I think I may have heard it all, if I’m honest. I’ve heard surface layer assessments and rants. I’ve heard deeply thought-out discontentment and frustration. I’ve heard beautifully loyal monologues. I’ve heard endearing arguments against unfaithful actions. I’ve heard rumors and lies and untruths and half-truths. I’ve heard soul-stirring testimonies and life-changing stories. All pertaining to our home church of Council Road.
There are so many questions swarming. Some people are asking, “Why should I stay at Council Road?” Some people are asking, “How can I help Council Road?” and some people are asking, “How could I possibly leave Council Road?” But somewhere peeking through these questions is another quivering, hidden question lurking in the dark corner, afraid to even be voiced, “What should I do when I don’t like Council Road?”
I think this is an important question to shed light on and address. Why should we face this question? Because the local church is a command, not a suggestion. Because the local church is made up of believing men and women, not pawns or pharisees. Because the local church is a representation of the Bride patiently awaiting the return of the Groom, Jesus Christ. Because as long as my name is on that membership role, even across oceans, then I am Council Road. She is my home church. I am a member of her. And I want to face my dislikes of her because Christ’s church is worthy of the time and effort it takes to realize fallenness and exalt faithfulness congregationally.
We must face this question because the Scriptures tell us what the Body of Christ is meant to look like, and if Council Road (or your home church) doesn’t look like that, then it is up to individual members of the Body to make changes. What does the Bible say about church? It says we must not give up meeting with the Body and we must encourage one another (Heb. 10:24-25). We must realize we, as one Body, belong to one another and have valuable roles to play (Rom. 12:4-5). We must realize even if only two or three faithful, prayerful people were to remain at Council Road, Christ would remain (Matt. 18:20). We must function as co-workers in God’s service, not man’s (1 Cor. 3:9). We must share sincere and glad hearts with one another, being hospitable and open (Acts 2:46-47). We must yield our hearts to the Spirit as individuals and as a congregation (1 Cor. 3:16). We must let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts and be thankful (Col. 3:15). We must see that Christ alone is the cornerstone of Council Road (Eph. 2:19-20). We must speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15).
There are so many other things I could list that the Bible tells us a church must do or be. There are verses on roles in the church, responsibilities in the church, calls to action for the church, warnings for the church, chastisements for the church, and so much more. Perhaps the first thing we ought to do when we wonder what to do with our dislikes for a home church is simply to look backward. Look at the Bible, back to the early church, and ask tough questions. What does the Bible say about the role of elders? What does it say about starting a church? Where are verses on church formation or church discipline? Is the principle of membership in the Bible and what verses highlight the role of a member of the Body? Go to the Word first, my friends. It is our measuring stick. Spend time looking up topics like ecclesiology and church history, or even research healthy church formation and the life cycle of a church. Explore and allow the Spirit to help you form your own understanding of the Church.
The second thing which might be helpful as we face this jarring question, is not only to look at the Word, but also to look inward. It’s important to ask additional hard questions like the following: What does a “good church member” look like based on the Bible and how am I reflecting that? In what ways am I being selfish, prideful, or inconsistent? Am I processing my dislike of my home church in a way that stirs up anger and gossip, or in a way that stirs up honest accountability? What has my relationship with organized religion been like in the past, and am I rightly assessing my church in regard to its own failures, or am I tacking on the failures of organized religion as a whole? What is it that I want?
There is a healthy way to process this dislike. There really is. And there’s hope to find peace and clarity when we yield to the Spirit in this process. One of the most helpful questions to ask myself is usually, “Why does _____ really bother me?” Once I have the first answer to this question, then I insert it in the blank itself and keep this question loop going until I’ve finally nailed down the root issue.
Lastly, when we ask, “What should I do when I don’t like Council Road?” I think it’s most important to look upward. Talk to God about it. Like a lot. We must tell Him as much as, if not more than, we tell others about the issues we see and the discontentment we feel. Ask Him for wisdom and patience and clarity and increased compassion. Ask Him to show you ways to make good changes and to inspire increased faith in other members. Ask Him to reveal sin and truth alike. Ask Him to shape and disciple Rick, Jason, Clint, Abe, Michael, Norm, Vickey, Landry, Mark, Dondra, and other faithful leaders on staff. Ask Him to strengthen and convict Casey, TJ, Barbara, Brian, Tom, Krista, Marissa, Joe, Jigar, Frankie, Shelby, and the hundreds of other members we could name. Pray for the disobedient. Pray for the faithful. Pray for the divisive. Pray for the humble.
God knows every hidden corner of Council Road. He knows every misunderstood word and broken intent. He knows every complication and pure desire. He knows every secret prejudice and covert unbelief. He knows every act of pure love and every movement of forgiveness. Trust Him. Talk to Him. Seek Him.
When I don’t like Council Road, I must try loving her. I’m not talking about blind devotion. I’m not talking about thoughtless loyalty. I’m not talking about undisciplined, unaccountable irresponsibility. I’m not talking about toxic submission. I’m talking about love. We can choose to love our church, even with her warts and sin and humanness. We can choose to do the work of looking backward, inward, and upward. We can choose to knuckle down and faithfully grab hold.
Meet the Author!
Catherine Wayne is the pseudonym of a beloved CRBC international missionary.