September is Groups Month! Group life is an essential part of CRBC. As a church, we take an entire month to showcase the diversity we have in Connection Classes and Small Groups. An entire month should make us pause and wonder, why does CRBC care so much about this topic? Scripture has something to say about it!
I felt lost and alone in 2019 when I had to make the heart-breaking decision to find a new church because where we were was no longer safe for my daughter, Willow, and I. God had released me from a very painful and dangerous situation in my marriage and I had filed for divorce. What followed from church members who did not know the intimate details was hurtful judgment and condemnation. I have always had such a heart for family, but now I found myself in the middle of a terrible divorce and I was frightened about the prospect of more condemnation from the Christian community.
In 2020 I became a “plant mom.” This might not sound ground-breaking, but I promise you, up to that point, I did not have a green thumb on either hand, as I had never kept a plant alive. However, in the fall of 2019, I bought a couple of plants at The Gift Goes On, with a promise from the seller, “these are nearly impossible to kill,” so I decided to try my hand at botany. Turns out, they were indeed easy to keep alive and the seed was planted in me to keep growing my plant collection - which to date includes 31 plant-babies. The secret, I discovered, is threefold: healthy soil, correct watering, and appropriate placement.
*Excerpt from Beyond Our Control: Let Go of Unmet Expectations, Overcome Anxiety, and Discover Intimacy with God by Lauren and Michael McAfee
Psychologist Dr. John Townsend is a family friend, and he once explained to me that the negative emotion often most closely associated with the concept of control, or a lack of it, is anxiety. The control/anxiety correlation rang true. The growing illusion that we have more control of our lives than previous generations seems to be leading us to a place of greater anxiety, not less.
As many of you readers know, I am currently living overseas. I’m still a member of Council Road and consider myself deeply connected to her. This has many advantages as well as disadvantages. Being so far away has given me a privilege I did not expect—the privilege of hearing what people really think about Council Road. I think I may have heard it all, if I’m honest. I’ve heard surface layer assessments and rants. I’ve heard deeply thought-out discontentment and frustration. I’ve heard beautifully loyal monologues. I’ve heard endearing arguments against unfaithful actions. I’ve heard rumors and lies and untruths and half-truths. I’ve heard soul-stirring testimonies and life-changing stories. All pertaining to our home church of Council Road.
Have you ever been the new girl somewhere? I’m not talking like in college where you are in a huge mix of others who are also new. I’m talking about when you walk into an established group with their preexisting friendships, history, and way of doing things. This can be very intimidating. Have you ever been a part of the group receiving new people? That can be awkward too. Will they like me and want to come back to our group? Who am I to go introduce myself to them like I’m someone special to know? How will they change our group dynamics?
I couldn’t believe this was real, as I took a moment to process that I was sitting in the OKC Children’s Hospital cancer wing, trying to keep my daughter somewhat quiet while our friends circled around us to pray over Zion and her upcoming cancer removal surgery. I was terrified, but as I watched our community wrap around us, I knew that I wasn’t alone.
One of the biggest blessings I received, as part of our church’s 60th birthday celebration team, was the stories we heard. Our meetings typically began with a personal story of how the people of Council Road had impacted lives. My eyes were teary at some point in every meeting, each of us amazed at how the saints of our church have faithfully carried the torch lit by the Holy Spirit over 60 years ago. In these stories, we saw the power and purpose of the Church over and over.
