Love is in the air and it’s the greatest thing in the world! February brings the opportunity to celebrate those we love. We buy cards and chocolates, send flowers, plan romantic dinners at our favorite restaurants and enjoy those seasonal conversation heart candies. Children decorate shoe boxes in red, pink and white to receive Valentine’s Day cards in, while also giving notes with sweet messages to classmates and friends.
Our culture creates an atmosphere of expectation around Valentine’s Day, often leaving us frustrated and possibly believing a lie that we don’t really matter to others.
With four young children at the time, I decided to start a new tradition in our home that would be meaningful for all of us and purposefully celebrate those I loved most. What we each really desired was someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with, a special meal and meaningful words - words that would give us that warm fuzzy feeling, knowing we are loved, seen and known.
It started off simply with me as the chef and my kids playing the role of waiter and waitresses. One year they even dressed up in black and wore a white towel over their arms as they served and refilled drinks. We crafted cards in preparation, planned a special menu with some of our favorite dishes and decorated the table with homemade paper hearts, candles and flowers. After dinner, we took turns verbalizing the things we loved most about each person. Of course, we topped off the evening with a delicious dessert. As we cleaned the table and put everything away together, not only were our tummies full, but also our hearts. We had a sense of being loved, belonging, being understood and appreciated.
Over time our family has grown, creating a need to modify our special tradition. I’m still the head chef and typically cook a steak dinner with my daughters and daughter-in-law making side dishes. Our all-time favorite dessert is individual molten lava cakes. With grandkids seated at the smaller table alongside the adults, we decorate and write out our messages of love. This enables us to go back and be reminded of how our family sees us and that no matter how many times we make mistakes, we are important and valued by them. These messages of affirmation have been a highlight for our family.
One of my favorite books for families is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, which helped me understand that we all give and receive love differently. One Valentine’s Day event can allow us to speak into every person’s own love language with words of affirmation (verbally stating or writing them throughout dinner), quality time together (gathering with no rush to leave), giving gifts (cards, chocolates, flowers), acts of service (cooking, cleaning, decorating) and physical touch (hugs for all – however much you are comfortable with during a pandemic).
Maybe you don’t have family nearby to celebrate this Valentine’s Day. What better time to get creative with your friends (a family of choice) and come up with a new tradition? One that leaves everyone knowing they are special and uniquely created by the One who loves us more than we could ever imagine. With a grateful heart for the love bestowed upon us by our Creator, I encourage you to share messages of faith, hope and love with those around you.
Remember, as it says in I Corinthians 13:13 (ESV), ”So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”
Meet the author!
Jackie Green is a full-time homemaker who relishes her roles of wife, mother to six children, mother-in-law, and “Gigi” to nine grandchildren. Married to her high-school sweetheart, Steve, for more than 30 years, Jackie actively supports him in his high-profile role as President of Hobby Lobby and Chairman of the Board of Museum of the Bible.