Faithfulness is a word often used, but rarely defined in Christian circles. A quick google search will tell you that faithfulness is a firm or even unfailing devotion. It’s hard to believe that God is firmly devoted to us, though, when we’re in the midst of a difficult circumstance that he could miraculously change, yet doesn’t. What if God’s faithfulness is not primarily a statement describing his relationship to us, but a character quality of himself?
God is who he is. He is separate, other, holy, and pure. He is not our personal Avenger, dropping out of the sky to rescue us from the daily evil, though I wish sometimes he did. He is faithful to his pure love, perfect justice, holy righteousness, and his overarching plan that his kingdom come and his will be done on earth as it is in heaven (Matt. 6:10).
I had no idea how me-centered I had been reading the Bible and interpreting faith until my good and easy life became pain-filled. After several months of trying to get pregnant in June of 2014, I finally saw a second line on the pregnancy test. But our elation was short-lived and the next several months were a messy mix of grief looming like fog from our first loss to joy and relief from a following pregnancy. Holding grief and joy in the same body will spontaneously combust into anxiety when the pull between the two becomes too much.
Over the next four and a half years, God faithfully showed me his character. He is good. Even when the consequences of the fall still affect my life, he is faithful to being good. I experienced this through his nearness in my grief. God is faithful to his love and care for us especially in tragedy. At the Good Friday service several months after our loss, God faithfully loved me by deepening my understanding of His experience of sending Jesus to us while knowing what his crucifixion would entail.
Three healthy children will never erase what we lost, but I would now say that I would never change our experience of becoming parents either. It is when life doesn’t appear good and God isn’t rescuing us from our circumstances that we must drop anchor in our belief in God’s faithfulness: that he is who he is even when life feels chaotic and cruel. It is only through experience that what we know is true becomes something that also feels true and a deep belief is formed.
Thank You, Lord, for Your faithfulness.
Meet the Author!
Phoebe is a therapist in private practice at Bethany Counseling Center, mom to Vivi, Charlie, and Harris and wife to Jeff. She speaks and writes on the integration of faith and mental health as essential to living in our identity in Christ. She enjoys nonfiction books, Disney movies, and, like any good millennial, is a coffee and pen snob.
This blog is meant to further the conversation about mental health and is not intended as medical or professional advice.
