Sometimes the phrase “personal growth” gets a bad reputation in Christian spheres. It sounds too self-reliant or worldly to be something God would want us to do. But spiritual growth cannot be separated from growing emotionally and mentally, nor can we separate it from taking care of our bodies. God made us whole people: mind, body and spirit. We cannot neglect our own growth as we care and minister to the needs of our families and communities. 2 Corinthians 5:18 tells us that we are all ministers charged with bringing the reconciliation of Christ to the world. But we cannot carry this load to the detriment of ourselves.
In Ruth Haley Barton’s book, Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in the Crucible of Ministry, she shows why it is essential for ministers (which we all are) to continue to seek God for themselves while caring deeply for others and how to set rhythms to make sure that happens. Barton integrates her deep biblical knowledge with psychological principles to help us understand the practices of silence, solitude, and listening prayer that are often overlooked within the church.
Barton traces the life of Moses as an example of a minister who had to deal with the less than holy parts of himself, lay down his defenses, and notice God’s work in his life. Throughout his story, Moses experienced a loving and abiding relationship with the living God. That relationship overflowed to his love for Israel. She shows how self knowledge leads to vulnerability before God which enables us to stay faithful to the work God has called us to while also allowing our work to form us more into Christlikeness.
For women, the thought of silence and solitude is met with a, “yeah right?!?” It’s hard to imagine solitude in the phases of life where tiny fingers greet us under the bathroom door. How can someone find silence in a busy life where work must be completed and “me time” is found through a podcast while rushing to the next thing? However, Barton’s book convinced me that the constant low-grade irritation and anxiety (or perhaps always being on the edge of checking out) is a symptom of a lack of silence and solitude before the Lord.
Starting the practices of silence and solitude is not easy. When we are used to buzzing from one thing to the next, silence and solitude can conjure nervousness and angst. But it doesn’t have to be long, and it will never look perfect. It could start with not looking at your phone in the grocery line, driving home without a podcast on, or spending 5 minutes before bed breathing and reflecting on the Lord’s work that day. Like a river, small practices can carve deep changes over time.
Meet the Author!
Phoebe is a therapist in private practice at Bethany Counseling Center, mom to Vivi, Charlie, and Harris and wife to Jeff. She speaks and writes on the integration of faith and mental health as essential to living in our identity in Christ. She enjoys nonfiction books, Disney movies, and, like any good millennial, is a coffee and pen snob.
This blog is meant to further the conversation about mental health and is not intended as medical or professional advice.
