Some of my most favorite neighbors are an African American family. Current events involving race finally mandated a conversation I’ve always wanted to have with them regarding what it’s like to be them. Arlene and I text a lot. She shares the important events in her life—like her recent retirement from a nursing career and the death of her sister this summer. This openness made it easy to talk about the difficult subject of racial strife.
I felt no qualms about asking if my husband and I could come over, and I was acting on my conviction to hear her and Charles’ opinions. The investment as neighbors provided the platform for a wonderful conversation. Just like Pastor Rick asks our congregation if our community would miss our church if it moved, Dave and I ask ourselves if our neighbors would miss us if we moved. We have been intentional about being in their lives.
We showed up on Saturday afternoon, thinking we might stay 45 minutes. We listened hard as Charles told of his experiences with the police. I feel safe when I see police cars on the road. Not them. He said change has to start at the top and trickle down—down into conversations like this one. He said we are to treat others like we want to be treated. It’s that simple. We all agreed that things have got to change.
Three hours later, they said, “Can y’all just stay for dinner?” We laughed as we sat down and heard the hilarious details of their first date. Arlene had to take Charles to the emergency room, and the doctors wanted her to sign the treatment release forms. “I’M NOT DOING THAT—I DON’T EVEN REALLY KNOW HIM!” It was good to laugh after the intense news stories the past few months.
We loved that our commonality in Christ is what defines us—not the color of our skin, not our political parties and not where we work or live. They love their church and Savior as much as we do, and our churches’ mission and purpose statements are almost identical. The first discussion Charles and I had after they moved in was about this very thing, and it still bothers me that he beat me to the punch with an invitation to church!
As we were leaving, Arlene said, “Is that all y’all wanted? We thought you were coming over to sell Amway.” She is so funny!
This was not a difficult discussion. It was not hard to ask if we could talk. It was not uncomfortable. No one offended anyone. It was easy to listen. It was easy to talk and to be heard, and there is great healing in that. There is healing in being felt like you are valued. There is healing in getting to voice your opinion and to feel like you matter. We did not solve this country’s racial problems, but I know I came a long way into understanding just a part of their lives.
This conversation? It was one of the best things I’ve ever done.
MEET THE AUTHOR!
Sarah is an adventure-loving girl who loves to chase the Oklahoma sunsets with her photographer husband, Dave. She has been a member of Council Road since 1969 and has worked there since 1984. She and Dave both share a passion for serving in the music ministry. Her caladiums have taken over the front porch this summer, but at least her Savannah cats have control inside. She feels closest to her precious heavenly Father in the Rocky Mountains of Montana.