My husband and I have been leading various groups at Council since 2012. Our home group at that time was mostly all young married couples with few children. Our time together was full of Bible Study and encouragement with intentional community building. We loved it. Through the years, kids started slowly showing up. One day I looked up and the kids outnumbered the adults! We had continually tried hard to have Bible Study during home group, but it was increasingly becoming a challenge with so many children. One particular group meeting I remember my husband and I introduced a parenting video series and the videos were four minutes long. Surely we could do a four minute Bible Study! However, the first week of that video we had ten different people get up at different times during that four minute video to check on a kid - me included. I felt like a failure as a group leader. At that time, I went to the Lord and asked “what do we do?” I heard Him say, “invest in the families in other ways.”
“And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”
Colossians 1:17 ESV
{Truth: He is the reason our groups stay together}
So I thought through my journey with church attendance. As I looked back over my time growing up in a Christian home, I do remember the Bible studies and sermons. But my most salient memories as a child with the body of Christ were those church dinners in the fellowship hall, volleyball nights at the park, Super Bowl watch parties, and silly games with the youth group. Did I learn about Christ? Absolutely. Did I grow in my relationship with believers through having fun together? Absolutely. Scripture calls us to fellowship with believers. There is intention to that.
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV
{Truth: Don’t neglect the meeting - even when it is hard}
Now my home group is even more so outnumbered by kids. If we are all there, I think we have around 30 kids ages <1-16 years old. It gets crazy. I warn people that it is loud in the winter when we are inside! But we do have fun. At one point this summer, Luke McConnell noted that the number of children per capita in the Hagar's pool was likely higher than most rural Oklahoma towns! I know we are building their memories as the body of Christ. We are community. There is a place for God’s community of believers to just be together having fun. And organically during the fun we learn about each other and how to pray for each other.
“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."”
Matthew 18:20 ESV
{Truth: Or where 30 kids are gathered!}
In my orphan care ministry, we decided to have a Christmas party last December. We just went to the Cube, ordered pizza, and played together. Low key. Adults had fun, but we always had fun together in our support group. But our kids talked about that night for months. So we decided to make it a monthly thing. So we get together now at the Cube monthly for pizza and game time. It’s a way for us to have outreach with other families that have never attended Council. Adults sometimes join the games and sometimes just sit and talk. Either way, it is fun for us! But especially for our kids, investing in having fun together is building relationships faster than if we only sat in a room together to do Bible study. Not that I’m saying we shouldn’t have Bible study. But just that the fun leads to deeper meaningful relationships that help facilitate the depth of our Bible study time together.
“And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers…And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.”
Acts 2:42, 46-47 ESV
{Truth: Breaking of bread = pizza in the 21st century}
Brain research tells us that the memories we hold on to from early childhood are typically tied to strong emotional responses - either positive or negative emotions. Our brains retain these fun memories we make with the body of Christ for a long time. If my children ever stray from the church, I pray they recall salient memories that will lead them back there. Those memories will be deep emotional Bible Study leading to Jesus, but they will also be the fun nights at the Cube or with our home group. Both create ways to get us to church. Both create space to meet Jesus. Both honor God.
Meet the Author!
Carisa Wilsie is a licensed psychologist and orphan care advocate. She lives life with many bright and compassionate people that hold her up. She is a wife and mother to three who were born out of her heart through adoption. Most importantly, she is a Christ follower and strives everyday to live out her unique calling. Thoughts shared here are based out of personal opinion and experience.