I remember clearly how the conversation started, “But where will we go live after court?”
Our children had lived with my husband and I for six months before their adoption was finalized. That was the standard amount of time prior to finalizing an adoption in Oklahoma. We let them know from day 1 that they were ours, we were family, their new last name was Wilsie. We even had their new last names on the stickers they wore at church, identifying them as ours, from the very beginning. But finally, after six months we were going to court to legally change their last name to match ours. So we wanted to explain this to them to prep them for the day.
“So, we are going to court to see a judge. He won’t be scary and there is no chance he is going to take you away from us. But he will sit in his chair and talk to us about it if we promise to take care of you forever. We will tell him, “Yes!” So he is going to tell you that we get to adopt you. It just makes it all official. We get to be a family together forever.”
Yes, yes, yes…we all understand. Conversation over.
A few minutes later from my four-year-old, her little hand reaching up to hold mine…
“But where will we go live after court?”
“We will still live here.”
“But where will Bubba and Sissy and I live?”
We had modeled family for them for six months. We had explained repeatedly what forever meant. We had talked about hopes and dreams for the future. But, they still struggled to understand a forever family. At times, even after five years living with us, when emotions are high, one of them might reveal a worry that we will return them to foster care. Breaks my heart. Every. Time.
Adoption is not a new concept. We are told in the Bible that God adopted us as His sons and daughters. John 14:18 clearly says, “I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.” Paul writes about us as “heirs” of God. In fact, it is repeatedly said in scripture that we are orphans and God has adopted us. So maybe God wanted to make sure we knew our identity was in Him. Or maybe He knew we may doubt it if He only said it once. But, I think more than anything, it reveals the heart of God. God cares for the orphan. He sees us as an orphan. As we draw near to His heart, we will care about the things He cares about too. One of these being the orphan.
Think about it this way. Jesus died, was placed in a tomb, then was resurrected. The first person he spoke to was Mary to which He said, “Go to my brothers and say to them, I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God” (John 20:17). That was Jesus’s first thought – go find my brothers! He wasn’t talking about earthly brothers. He was talking about the disciples - His eternal brothers in Christ because they had been adopted by God.
God’s direction in scripture is clear: we are to care for the orphan. How we do this is up to our own convictions from God. There are a multitude of ways to support orphan care. Some of you will invite a child into your home through foster care or adoption. The rest of you may support those families or support efforts for family preservation. This means the hot meal you take to a family with a new foster placement gets you closer to the heart of God. This means the respite you provide an adoptive family so they can have a break gets you closer to the heart of God. This means that supporting families to stay together through recovery ministries gets you closer to the heart of God. Get the picture?
My family celebrates “fish day” every February as the anniversary of the day we went to court “o-fish-ally” making my three children a Wilsie. It’s a celebration because it is a promise we made to them and continue to make to them. God has made that same promise to us. “I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.” Draw near to the heart of God and ask him to break your heart for what breaks His. Ask how you can get involved in orphan care. It should matter to us because it matters to Him.
Meet the Author!
Carisa Wilsie is a licensed psychologist and orphan care advocate. She lives life with many bright and compassionate people that hold her up. She is a wife and mother to three who were born out of her heart through adoption. Most importantly, she is a Christ follower and strives everyday to live out her unique calling. Thoughts shared here are based out of personal opinion and experience.