This is the third of our March blog posts on allowing God to use your story for His purposes.
This past Valentine’s Day marked 45 years of living with Type 1 diabetes. I was diagnosed in a tiny town with only two doctors, and they thought I probably wouldn’t make it to age 30. I’m now 57. Three things have kept me alive this long: an amazing team of doctors, really cool advances in the technology of disease treatment and the daily prayers of my mom and husband.
In 1977, the only “technology” available for treatment was to test urine and match it to a color chart. Blue meant no sugar, yellow meant a little and orange meant a lot. We used that chart in a best-guess scenario to inject insulin made from the pancreas of a pig. It’s a wonder I’m still alive. We now have human insulin made using recombinant DNA technology, five-second blood sugar tests, along with insulin pumps and continuous glucose sensors. These sensors send sugar readings to the pumps every five minutes, and the pumps use complicated algorithms to increase or decrease the insulin dose. It’s not perfect and comes with its share of headaches and outrageous costs, but right now, it’s the best thing available. Nothing will ever be able to replace the pancreas that God created, and it’s terribly difficult to try and reproduce what it does in our bodies.
Diabetes is a relentless disease. There are no days off, as it must be managed hour by hour.
I had to come to terms at a fairly young age that my lifespan would be shortened by this disease by about 12 years. Man. Ok. Anything else? Yes. You will also probably go blind, have your feet amputated, get heart disease, have kidney failure and have a stroke. Well sign me up then! Sounds fun! (Dark humor helps me cope.) When faced with such dire warnings, many diabetes patients go into denial and engage in very little to no treatment. It’s simply too overwhelming. Even modern technology sometimes doesn’t work because many times our bodies simply don’t comply, regardless of how hard we try.
All of the monthly diabetes supplies needed to manage my Type 1 diabetes!
Is all hope lost? No. I know God created me and has a definite purpose for my life, even with a body that doesn’t work well. In fact, sometimes this disease can serve as somewhat of a weird ministry. The minute I meet another Type 1, we have instant rapport. Finally, here is someone who knows what it’s like to have high and low sugars for no reason, to spear a blood vessel with an infusion site needle and bleed like crazy, to have scarred and numb fingers from hundreds of finger sticks, to deal with endless pump alarms, to live with a constant lack of sleep, to deal with the anxiety of long-term complications, to spend hours on the phone with tech support because of a faulty sensor and to dread lab work and doctors’ visits. But this person gets it! What joy! There’s nothing like swapping diabetes nightmare stories with someone who truly understands and can laugh about it. Emily-Rose Sanders Hill is one of my go-to Type 1 friends who gets it! I just talked to her last night about a new insulin pump.
Years ago, I made it a mission to try and visit any newly diagnosed Type 1 kid, whose family I knew, in the hospital just to let them talk and voice fears. There is security in knowing you’re not alone. This is why there are hundreds of support groups, not only for diabetes, but also every other disease and addiction in existence. We support each other by sharing supplies, doctor referrals and talk of the latest technology. It helps. It’s a totally separate, but very needed, community of people in my life.
When I was a college student, I figured I would never get married. I mean, who would want to marry someone with so many health issues? Being an OBU student solidified those thoughts in that while every pastoral student there was looking for a wife, I had not one single date the entire four years I was there! It turns out that God had someone better for me, and Dave and I were married a year later. He was the person my mom had prayed for since my birth. The complicated technology I use to treat my disease comes easily for him. He sits with me in the middle of the night during low sugar episodes. He makes sure my backpack is fully stocked with emergency glucose. And he keeps his own backpack at the ready for trips to the ER. He’s perfect for me because he’s all in!
While I was at OBU, I felt called to full-time ministry, not having an inkling as to what that resembled. I didn’t feel called to the mission field, but I was smitten with who and what Council Road was the minute I walked back in the Worship Center after living elsewhere 10 years. Could God use someone in ministry who was not physically whole? Yes, and He provided the avenue for that calling. He tells us He has plans and a hope for our future, and yes, that includes those who struggle with disease. My first example of that was Joni Eareckson Tada, and more recently, Nick Vujicic. Look how God uses them to reach thousands! So yes, I jumped into ministry and have never looked back. It is difficult at times, and it looks different for everyone. I have to pay attention to what my body tells me. Your body will tell you what you can and cannot do, even though sometimes I push myself harder than I should. Keep your eyes on Scripture. Isaiah 41:10 says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” I certainly believe God writes the story of my life and allows me to live fully in his plans.
Some people ask if I think there will ever be a cure for T1D. I don’t know – there are lots of trials and research always taking place. I know my mom and husband have prayed for healing every day for the last 45 years. But I’ve had to place my hope in Jesus rather than science. John 16:33 says this: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” To me, that means I will finally and wholly be healed in heaven. But in the meantime, He has allowed me to help others with the same condition here on earth. And I fully believe that’s why He allows trials in our lives in this imperfect world.
If you deal with chronic disease, may you be encouraged by John 14:27: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Also, Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Living life with the “Big D” isn’t all darkness. One evening I was playing in a flute choir concert at OCU, and I felt my insulin pump pop out of the clip and slide clear down the front of my leg. I managed to finish the concert with it hanging there, then I walked off the stage kicking it in front of me with each step. Good times. Years ago, before I carried emergency glucose, I had a really low sugar episode come upon me during a church service, and I was sitting only three or four rows from the front. The sermon had just begun, but I had to leave and walk the entire length of the aisle to the foyer to find something to eat. Unbeknownst to me, every medical doctor, nurse and emergency worker in the congregation had followed me to the foyer and assembled in a big crowd just in case I needed to pass out. More good times. Then there was the time I had a low sugar on a Southwest Airlines flight, and I had consumed all of my emergency glucose. I told the flight attendant, and she proceeded to dump every last snack on that airplane into my lap. Loved it. Nobody was going to die on her watch!
Diabetes – Type 1 and Type 2 – is so common that you probably know someone living with it. Reach out for help if needed. There is hope. Many times, people who struggle with chronic illnesses are prone to depression. It helps to find a daily purpose in ministry. If you are dealing with any chronic illness, I would like to encourage you with the following Scriptures. God bless you as you try to cope and to serve Him. He will give you the strength for your ministry.
Meet the Author!
Sarah gave her life to Christ as an 11-year-old in a tiny town in northern Montana. As a junior at OBU, she surrendered her life to Christian service and has served at CRBC for over 30 years. She loves playing her custom-made flute in the orchestra, catering to her Savannah cats and is obsessed with growing peonies. She and Dave love to capture sunsets on whatever remote location the latest airfare sale leads them and have learned the more lost they are, the better the adventure!