“I’ve been in the Beth Moore Entrusted Bible Study and she’s talked a lot about mentoring. I really feel this is something I’m supposed to be doing. Can you help me? Do you have a place for me somewhere?”
That question was my introduction to the amazing Amy Moreillon. She has become such an immeasurable gift to CRBC and the host of young women she has befriended that interviewing her seemed the perfect ending to this February’s month-long emphasis on friendship.
VICKEY: AMY, YOU KNOW I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER THAT YOU HAVE RECENTLY MOVED BACK TO OKLAHOMA CITY AND TO CRBC! WHAT HAS DRAWN YOU TO HAVE SUCH RICH RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN HERE THAT CROSS GENERATIONS?
AMY: I had a mentoring/friendship relationship with an older woman when I was in my early twenties that was transformational for me. That’s one of the reasons I was so excited to be part of Council Road Women’s earlier Summer Book Clubs and recent Table groups. I just love multi-generational groups like these—they’re scriptural and provide such a well rounded outlook on life.
I lost my mom when I was just twenty-nine and had my first baby. I lived in a city very far from my family and had no sister. I felt such a huge void, leading to depression, crying every day for a year after she passed away. I spent a lot of years seeking someone to take my mom’s place, not even realizing that was what I was doing.
As healing began to take place in my life, I reflected on how my mother’s death affected me. I realized we women have a great need for other women. The Holy Spirit used my loss and other barren relationships to redirect my focus to others—to looking for how I can help others going through loss and hurts. If I can prevent one young woman from feeling as isolated as I once was, it was worth what I suffered.
VB: WHAT A LOVELY PERSPECTIVE. I HAD NO IDEA THAT SUCH GREAT LOSS WAS PART OF YOUR STORY. HOW DID YOU GET FROM WANTING THE HOLY SPIRIT TO USE YOUR EXPERIENCES TO THE POINT WHERE YOU ARE NOW IN BEFRIENDING AND MENTORING SO MANY YOUNGER WOMEN?
AM: The springboard was Beth Moore’s Entrusted Bible Study. God really spoke to me through it, stirring up a desire to be more active in reaching out to younger women. I realized a large church isn’t always easiest to find those relationships so I began seeking out women in leadership in our church to ask how I could do this. I didn’t know it when I called you, but you were in the midst of recruiting women to host Summer Book Clubs in their homes and you invited me to host one.
VB: PERFECT TIMING! THEY WERE A GREAT WAY TO GET TO KNOW AND INVEST IN WOMEN.
AM: They were. Women like to meet in homes & have great conversations. I began to understand mentoring is scriptural, I had a home and felt I could do this.
I started reaching out to young women who I saw had needs and just opened my home to those I was around—like a young woman I worked with and her roommate who were new to OKC and didn’t have family here, young women new to our church, and a friend my daughter invited into our lives. I invited them for one on one time in coffee shops and my home, always looking for ways to encourage them.
VB: I KNOW THAT YOU READ AND DISCUSSED SPIRITUAL BOOKS IN OUR BOOK CLUBS, BUT WHAT OTHER TYPES OF THINGS DO YOU DO WITH YOUR YOUNGER FRIENDS?
AM: We’ve had a lot of life conversations at work and in my home. Some have come to church with me and together we’ve enjoyed shopping, movies, work and weekend trips. If someone wanted to learn to cook a pie, we’d do things like that. I do a lot of Sunday lunches at home—very hey, bring a friend if you know anyone who is lonely or doesn’t have a community. No matter what we do, my goal in mentoring/friendships with younger women (and I do think we can also mentor women our own age) is always to edify (build up, encourage) and meet their needs.
VB: THAT’S SUCH A GREAT PERSPECTIVE. WHAT HAVE BEEN SOME OF THE BLESSINGS YOU’VE RECEIVED FROM THESE RELATIONSHIPS?
AM: Even though the relationships started as me mentoring and helping them, they have become friends to me. Sometimes caring for them creates a community that is there for you. They see you loving and caring well so they want to be there for you; they want to reciprocate.
Another way I’ve most benefited from these younger millennials (the age I’ve really connected with) is they’ve challenged me to question what I was taught at an earlier age—why do I believe what I believe, are my beliefs really from scripture or from just what I thought was Scripture. They aren’t afraid to have conversations about racism, gender equality, homesexuality, etc. They’re very aware of how these types of issues have divided our country, but they aren’t afraid to have the conversations. This younger generation seems to seek out the deeper things of God at an earlier age than we did. I know that’s not true in all aspects, but those I meet seem hungry for more of God and deeper relationships.
VB: IS THERE ANYTHING YOU’VE HAD TO BE CAREFUL OF IN THESE RELATIONSHIPS?
I find myself continually checking my motives with God. I don’t ever want to cross boundaries that are unhealthy, but always be careful to keep in mind that the goal is to give and not receive in these relationships. I want to love them in the way they need to be loved, but I’ve had to set boundaries when what they wanted from me wasn’t healthy.
Meet Amy Moreillon!
Amy and her husband are currently relocating to Oklahoma City and CRBC. They have two young adult children and have fostered over 30 children! She is currently a nurse at Oklahoma Healthcare Authority, but worked in labor and delivery for the majority of her career. Amy is passionate about children and foster care. At CRBC, her involvement has been mentoring younger women, working in the church nursery and the Karis Foster and Adoption Ministry.
When my husband and I had to move to a different state a few years ago, I became severely depressed. After developing so many great relationships, I was in a new place with a lot of solitude. One of things I learned is not to set my expectations beyond what such younger women should be able to provide. So, in my depression, I carefully sought women my age or older and learned to be careful with what I shared with my younger friends. My needs were spiritually & emotionally beyond what they could or should bear.
One of the things I really want to get across is that in befriending and mentoring young women it’s incredibly important not to go into it expecting friendship, but the goal should be to meet their need.
VB: WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO WOMEN WHO DON’T FEEL THEY HAVE ANYTHING TO OFFER YOUNGER WOMEN?
I think the enemy wants us to believe we have nothing to offer. That’s a flat out lie. For me, the key has been my willingness to just be transparent about the good and bad in my life—the pain and joy. When I realized the enemy wanted to keep me isolated and silent, I realized it was a tactic to prevent community and helping one other person benefit from my pain in hardship. Heck no!
Women need to realize their story matters. Others can benefit from our mistakes. Transparency and vulnerability begets transparency and vulnerability. I think these younger women know nobody has it all together, nobody is perfect...let’s show them yeah, I struggle too. That is a key. If we never reach out to them, or do so only while trying to act perfect, they’ll walk away sad and defeated.
God puts women in our path that need our specific gift or type of encouragement. If we’ll be obedient, He will bring into our lives other women that need whatever it is we have to give.
EDITOR’S NOTE: We’ve had a great response to this month’s February friendship posts. To read more in this series and from past blog posts, click the friendship tag at the bottom of this post.
Meet the Author!
Bible teacher, author, inspirational speaker and disciple-maker, Vickey Banks is passionate about helping women connect the dots between God’s Word and their everyday lives. She loves serving as Women’s Ministry Director at Council Road, celebrating her people, playing with her puppy and getting lost in a good story.